hi friends,

community.

more and more this word is popping up in the collective discourse. to me, it look like we are waking up at massive rate and returning to our roots: the tribe. 

community gives us the sense of belonging and provides a support system. it’s like a net that ties the members of the community together; even if some members are far from each other, they are connected through their shared bonds. 

community as a product

because we are in the era of commodity, where everything becomes a sellable product, even community has been commodified, and we sometimes get sold “community” in forms of coliving, coworking, etc. these “products” can still be the starting point for a real community, but it takes real effort and emotional commitment for them to sustain once the “economic bond” is over. 

to make a personal example: for three years, i was taking a therapy training, and it was happening in a group setting. during the workshops, the members of the group supported each other and bonds were formed. we talked about the group as “a tribe” and the training facilitators often said that the group was like a family and we could count on each other. this was true, as long as we were inside the workshop (aka the product we were all paying for). however, only a few bonds were maintained outside of the workshop hall, and once the training was officially over, even less remained. it gave me a lot to reflect upon. for a long while, i did believe we were “a tribe” and i dreamt of our lives being truly intertwined, like a real community. this was the illusion of commodity. 

the modern world sells us community, but once we stop paying, more often than not, the community disappears, and we are lucky if we can keep a few friendship bonds. 

friendship equals community… ?

friendship does not directly translate into community. 

community shows up even when it’s inconvenient, and for all types of things. dishwasher broke? coming. trouble at home? stay at my place. sick? i’m bringing over some broth. 

whereas friends may not always show up when they’re the most needed – you may have a good laugh and great experiences with your friends, but they might not be there when you need them, too busy with their own lives. 

community members might not be your best friends. but they will take care of you when you need them – that’s the whole sense of community. showing up. even when it means i am changing my plans. 

of course, many people within a community are friends, yet more often than not, members of your community are family members, neighbours, childhood friends and their parents and/or members of your same minority. 

protecting each other

migrants and folks of the LGBTQ+ collective know a lot about community, because they often have to create or find one that helps them feeling safe and connected when others reject them.

being far from home all alone is tough, especially if you are a vulnerable person. to keep sane and keep safe, many find solace in coming together with people that share their identity and understand the struggle. if you ever found yourself in this position, you will know that not all members of the community are your friends – yet everybody shows up for everybody. this is community. 

community means that if you have a trouble, you can grab your phone and call these people, and you trust that they will be there for you. anything else, even if you use the word “community” to address it, it’s not. 

let’s take a look at the spiritual community. 

oh man, the spiritual community. i would rather call it “the spiritual theatre”, because more often than not, there is a lot of performance. the dresses, the yoga poses, the flowers in the hair, the spiritual tattoos, the plant ceremonies, the complicated self-given names, and the list goes on…

but where is the real spirituality?  

where is the connection? where is the open heart? where is the hand stretched out?

in the era of commodity, spirituality has become a sellable product too. here come the luxury retreats, the overpriced healing sessions, the endless ways of convincing your “spiritual community” to buy your crystals, amulets and books… these communities often come together for the sake of the product, such as in retreats, and disappear as soon as the payment is processed. 

be aware of this. go to the spiritual retreat if you feel called to it, some of them are valid and you learn a lot, but don’t fall into the illusion that that community is real. unless you can count on these people to help with your issues (without them charging you money for the “healing session”!), then you are only exchanging services, but are not really intertwined in a community.

i’m going to use this opportunity to call out on many members of the “spiritual community” for failing to address the ongoing humanitarian crisis that are happening in Ga_za, Sudan and Congo and for fuelling extractive capitalism, white supremacy and colonialism. many people from the so-called spiritual community travel to the Global South and not only do they contribute to pollution and gentrification of the local communities, but they steal spiritual wisdom. then they come back to the Global North and profit off indigenous knowledge without ever acknowledging it or giving back to the indigenous communities who kept the wisdom alive. if we cannot question our privilege and put ourselves in an uncomfortable position to help the liberation of others, then what does our spirituality mean? we should all ask ourselves this question and rethink about our position in this world. 

just as we are part of a local community, we are part of the human community. in whatever way we can do it, we need to show up for our shared humanity. free p4les.tine.

real people you can count on

community are those people you call when your car gets stranded. not the ones you go drink fancy lattes together. 

being part of a community is like having a garden. you need to constantly show up and make sure it is seeded, watered and taken care of, and you must do it with care and affection.

same goes with community. it doesn’t go without effort, commitment, selfless care. but just as you nourish it, it nourishes you, just like the plants of the garden. 

so take care of your community members. take care of the youngsters and the elders, of the sick and the vulnerable. take care of every plant in your garden, because they all play a role, whether it is giving you fresh tomatoes or keeping the bugs away. even if you don’t always see their flowers and their fruits, and even if they rarely blossom: they help keep the balance. 

find your people and take care of them

maybe you’ve read through all of this and are wondering: but who is my community? first of all, let me tell you that you are not alone. a lot of people nowadays are feeling isolated and struggling to find people they can count on.

because we’ve commodified everything, because life has become increasingly difficult with the soaring prices, forcing us to focus more on working than on nourishing the bonds in our lives, and because we have been fed the myth of independence and are surrounded by an individualistic culture, it’s often a challenge to create a community.

especially for introverted people, it can be hard to meet people and forge bonds. as an introvert myself, i know how uncomfortable it can be to show up in a place full of people you don’t know. not everybody is good at or likes to do small talk.

but i still have a few notes for you. first of all, a community doesn’t have to be a large group of people. it just takes another being that supports you in some way, and from there you can start growing together. honestly, it doesn’t even take a human – your pet can be considered part of your community, especially if they like to spend time with you and provide some kind of emotional support.

if you’re feeling increasingly isolated, i would encourage you to (a) get back to your existing bonds – think family members you feel somehow connected to, school friends or basically anyone whose company you enjoy a little bit or who makes you feel appreciated in some way. and then (b) there are always online communities. you can meet someone online and, even if you’re distant and have never seen each other, still support each other and help each other out.

whatever is your situation, i believe that our community is going to be our strength in the face of this increasingly uncertain and unstable world. so this is my warm invitation to invest your time and energy into your community and its members, to strengthen the bond and to even plan together how you are going to support each other through this collective awakening and social tsunami of change.

from purifyingwavesoflove, we did some online meetings some months ago – if you would like to connect with people interested in spiritual growth, please reach out to me and i will organise some new sessions to get to know each other or maybe create a sort of group where we can keep inspiring each other through our awakening process.

wishing you a safe journey through these times

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sara